My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
