The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
