i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
