My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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