How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I want a musical about memes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize