Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do herpes really smell.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
