I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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