He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
