North Korea, Best Korea!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
