We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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