I need help removing her.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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