Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize