Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
