I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
