I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Do vagina's smell?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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