it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
