Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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