You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
