got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
