haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
