Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am naked and annoyed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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