i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
well you can't waste a boner
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
