I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it's like heaven, but drunker
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
