I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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