She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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