what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
