Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
