she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Sorry my hands just texted you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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