4 words: hood of his car
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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