did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
