i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
