So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
