dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
