ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize