Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
