Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
