Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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