there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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