Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
