Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize