Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Couch. On fire.
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