Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
