Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
