we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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