someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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