It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize