hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
