Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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