I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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