I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
