i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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