dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize