Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
