best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
