we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
