What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That accounts for only three of the penises
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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