Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
