Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
