new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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