We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
