she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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