Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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