I hate all girls vehemently.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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