Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
