You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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