She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
