I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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