I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize