know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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