miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
