How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
this will be a night to untag.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize