I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
