Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
As shirtless as possible
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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